Somebody just hit me hard. Twice I forgot the same thing. I've been lazy. I've been tired. After pushing through the week, i went broke on the weekends.

I'm broken down and really low. Reasons why I have been silent and inactive, I lost my cool in a way through boredrom not anger. People usually lose it through anger but I really lose it through boredrom.

I just push anger in another direction. Push it into energy. On Thursday, I was really mad I couldn't handle the training as well as I used to do. I was just really mad I was really to break the coke machine. I did punch it. I yelled a bit. I don't know. I don't remember. My shin hurts.

Some of my body parts hurt. I don't know why. Maybe I haven't been working out well or something.

I'm slightly depressed but not completely. Just don't expect me to talk too much on the bus.

I'm really not into it.

If we really can't put it together, we really need depression. It helps us get back down to earth. Look at the mirror and work it out. Depressed but not knocked out. I'll probably be down in school tomorrow sulking a bit and lost.

I actually like being this way. Gives me a lot of motivation to just work twice as hard. I'm not backing down. Ever. D.